“Anita where’s the peg bag? Anita why’s the sitting room dirty? Anita has everyone eaten? Anita why’s that toilet dirty?” Anita! Anita!! Anita!!! That’s what I keep hearing. Everything Anita.
Hello Master/Miss/Mrs./Mr., welcome back to Anidom! I’m glad you stopped by *xoxo*. Today, as you’ve seen above, I’m writing about Into The Niche Of An Elder Sister.
The first female of a family is usually like a Queen. She has authority together with lots of roles and responsibilities placed on her shoulders. She’s like the second Mother of the home. “Second madam of the house” is exactly what my younger sister calls me. I asked her why and she told me “when mummy is not around, you do all the work, you’re the one who cooks, you tell me to sleep early, you kind of fill in for mum when she’s not around” these were her exact words. I was a little dazed when I heard this because it was in that moment I realized it was true; I had never really thought about it in detail before then.
It sounded nice and made me feel good but my sweet feeling was short-lived because it also made me realize how much I had to do and how seriously my younger ones look up to me. Honestly, it was a crazy feeling.
As elder sisters, we’re required to set the pace for our younger ones; especially our younger sisters. We need to lay the foundation and probably even start building the house. If you’re the first child, it’s even worse. We’re constantly under pressure not to “mess up” and to do everything correctly. Our parents are watching us constantly and so are the other family members. We are not free to do whatever the hell we want to do, we can’t even afford to.
We are pressurized to be “perfect”. Our parents want us to read the best courses, get married to a man of the same tribe and probably even from the same village with us; it’s just crazy but very true. We have to get married and have kids “on time” and do everything they want us to do “on time”.
As elder sisters we are the most scolded, most disgraced and most insulted for every “little” mistake we make. Nobody tries to create space for our excesses, they just want us to be “perfect” at all times.
As elder sisters, we are the ones who suffer the inherent overprotective nature of our parents. They don’t want us going out to do anything even to buy something across the street. They want us indoors always and all day.
Sometimes, it feels like we have monitoring spirits following us everywhere we go. They watch every move we make and suspect we’re doing something “bad” a lot. You know, one day, I went out with my sister (it was a miracle they let us go) and we got home like a few minutes past seven pm. The bolt driver and I had to clarify a few things concerning the payment so my sister and I didn’t highlight immediately. The next thing, I saw my mum literally running towards us, it was really funny honestly. Just when she got to where the vehicle was parked, the driver and I finished up. My sister and I highlighted the vehicle, greeted our mum and our conversation when like this
“What’s the problem?”
“There’s no problem. I was just paying him”
“Is it not your contact info he was asking for?”
“Mum, you’re acting like Dad right now”
It was funny and a little annoying at the same time. I know she was just trying to care for us you know, and I love love her for that but mehn, it was crazy.
We elder sisters are the ones our fathers look for immediately they get back from work. If I don’t go out to welcome my Dad when he gets home, he begins to look for me like I’m missing or something. We get to do most of the chores at home and we’re usually the ones scolded when others don’t do theirs; this can be so annoying.
But you know what, we don’t always get to “suffer” all the time. We are like bosses on our own, Queens!!! We get consulted for the way most things should go around the house, we don’t always have to lift a finger. We can just say “Glory, go get water for me” or “Alex go and buy me superglue” “Peace go clean the toilet” and we can seize our younger ones phones and discipline them too. This actually feels really good.Most times, we get want we want especially from our fathers. They feel we have a lot of sense so they believe we won’t ask for unnecessary things. We are highly respected by everyone in the family. We are mostly independent people and are the ones who tend to look out for others. We are not very used to being pampered so we may have a hard time showing that we want it; but believe you me, WE WANT IT!!! PLENTY OF IT!!!
We are usually not as girly as most other ladies because we have had to be strong when no one else was. I mean, things can be going badly at home and my younger ones could be crying but I won’t join them to. I’d rather hold my tears back, hold them and tell them, everything will be fine.
We have to sacrifice soo much. This may seem small to you, but not having to take that yoghurt or ice cream just to let my younger ones take more without them having to know I want it so badly is a sacrifice to me. Not getting my make over done just to make my sister look fabulous is a sacrifice to me, not watching what I really want to watch sometimes just to make my younger ones happy is a sacrifice, suspending everything I have and want to do in order to attend to their needs is a big sacrifice to me.
I can keep going you know, but all I’m trying to say is that it’s really not easy to be an elder sister. And to all the elder sisters out there, always have it at the back of your mind that you’re awesome beyond any can ever describe you, you are fantastic and amazing. Keep being that best sister that you are, don’t give up. Most of all, don’t be hard on yourself, you’re also a person with feelings even if you have to ignore them most times, try to consider yourself sometimes and be good to yourself.
Please drop your comments below and remember to share with your family and friends. Thank you.