Category Archives: My World

Fine Prints✍️

I was lying pretty exhausted😫 in bed today after a long but enriching conversation with a friend. So I decided that before going to bed, I’d finish up the chapter I was currently at in a book I was reading: Before You Do by T.D.Jakes. So I went into the bathroom with my book in my hands and of course my pen, and I sat to have a poop 💩😂. But I’m sure you can relate to those moments you end up going to the loo in vain, only to realize that thirty minutes later. Well, I eventually gave up on my digestive system and left for the comfort of my bed.

Lying down, I quickly finished up the chapter, titled Before You Place Your Love Order. I must say, I learnt a lot from that chapter but one striking thing about the chapter is that it talked about how we order a lot of things online but not get satisfied by what we receive eventually. He beautifully related this to our love lives as humans. How we often go after what appears to be what we like or long for, ignoring the red flags(the fine prints on your order).
We go after these things we see in people and imagine the perfect life we can share with them, just like you imagine yourself in that beautiful body con dress or that vintage shirt, but forget to read the product material, size, colour and other important details.

This chapter made me remember one time I ordered a jumpsuit online. When it arrived, I was firstly disappointed by the material that was used in making it, only for me to try it on and realize it was oversized😧. I immediately decided that I was definitely going to return it. I called to lodge my complaint and I was asked to return it to their delivery centre within a time frame.

Unfortunately😪, I couldn’t meet up because I was caught up with exams✍🏽, so I ended up being stuck with this jumpsuit🤷🏽‍♀️.
I abandoned it in my box for months after which I decided to take it for adjustment. I amended it and decided to wear for my 19th birthday🎂.
Even if no one told me, I knew I looked awful in it and I felt really uncomfortable but I decided to ignore that feeling and focus on the beautiful things happening on my birthday🥳🥰 .
I never wore that jumpsuit after that day until recently at a family function. After the function, my mum (Mothers are Lifesavers by the way) told me how awful I looked in it😂 and well, I didn’t argue because I already knew exactly what she was talking about. Now I have decided that I’m never putting it on again😂. I’ll probably give it to someone it will look better on.

Now what’s my point?🤔 Sometimes we get into relationships all because of the things we can see. The looks, style, hairdo, money and many more, forgetting the personalities of these persons and yeah, how compatible we may be. We imagine how our relationships would🥰 be even before the first “hello”🌚, we assume that people are a certain way before actually getting to know them🤷🏽‍♀️, hence our high expectations and recurrent disappointments🤦🏽‍♀️😫.

Other times, we see these fine prints: those things we know we can’t live with or tolerate and yet we go ahead planning to fix it just like what I tried doing with my jumpsuit💁🏽‍♀️.

We take up responsibilities and do many other things without paying attention to the fine prints, without thinking about the demands of these responsibilities; if we can actually live with them or not. The worse thing is that after we finally realise that we can’t go on anymore, we feel bad about withdrawing, we think about how the person or people involved would feel and what they would say🤕😓.

Sometimes, we try to “fix”🤨 people so they can fit into our lives, and this doesn’t usually happen☹️. We end up being frustrated and also frustrate the person or people involved🤧🤕😪. God alone can “fix” anyone, including you.
Truth is, we put ourselves and others under a lot of pain and pressure when we ignore the fine prints, those things we don’t see at a glance.🙁
We have to get to the point where we realise ought to learn to put all things under consideration, leaving nothing out before we decide to do that “thing”😌.

Thank you for reading. Please remember to share your views with me in the comment section below.❤️

Sublimity

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Oh! How hot you are that you shine so bright
Yet you fall on my heart as cold as ice

Displaying love so right
Yet dispersing hate like a spice

So beautiful you colour the night
Yet your eyes are like the death-darting eye of Cockatrice

Like two sides of a coin shining as light
Yet seizing the sight of all who stare, what a surprise!

What have you had or do you presently have in your life that you enjoy so much but you know can hurt or hurts you? Let’s discuss.

Don’t Let Them Tell You Who You Are!

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And she walked quietly past the boys at the corner of the hall, with her head faced down, buried in the pile of books in her hands. “Look! It’s Kimberly; World Ugliest Being” Mark said, and all his friends burst into laughter. Kimberly walked straight into the rest room and cried her eyes out. It wasn’t the first, second, third or even the last time this was going to happen.

Jackson was from an average family, he wasn’t the brightest in class and he was a stutterer. All the girls in school despised and always made fun of him. He couldn’t even attend Prom because he had no date; every girl he asked turned him down shamefully. This brought him down daily and affected his self-esteem.

We live in a world where almost every corner we turn to has something discouraging for us. As we pick up our mobile phones daily, we come across a lot of things online, some sent personally to us, and others, random things that just bring us down in some type of way.

Even when we don’t pick up our phones, the people we see physically don’t always help matters. These persons could be your family members, friends, colleagues or even a random person, that just have something negative to say to or about you. Many times we get to hear things like: “What does this small boy think he’s doing? In a short time, it’ll crash.” “This ugly girl just keeps hovering around my face” “She’s so dumb! Why can’t she just be like her friend Hannah?” “If only Jimmy’s shoes could talk, they’d have begged him to give them a break!”

The truth is that the negativity out there is through the roof! And yes! There’s little or nothing we can do about that. People will ALWAYS have every negative thing to say about you or what you do. But you have to get to the point where you realize that it’s NOT your responsibility to make someone like you or what you do; it’s solely their decision! If you go around trying to make people like you or accept what you’re doing, you’re really going to end up being a mediocre. Stop trying to please everyone, you weren’t made for that! Even Jesus wasn’t liked by everyone.

Sometimes, you hear certain things about yourself and you’re shocked that it’s you they are actually referring to. I personally, am a victim. The truth is that hearing negative things about yourself can stop you, but only if you let it. You have to be able to settle it with yourself that you’re going to keep hearing negative things about yourself and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it, and so you won’t let it stop you or determine who you are.

I’m at a point in my life where the negative things I hear about myself no longer stop me, they slow me down sometimes but do you know what I do then? I pray, I pray that God helps me to move past them and then I go on to remind myself who I am and Whose I am (God’s) and everything I am going to achieve and how bright my future is!

Constructive criticism on the other hand is “the process of offering valid and well-reasoned opinions about the work of others, usually involving both positive and negative comments, in a friendly manner rather than an oppositional one.” Copied. I believe in constructive criticism because I’m convinced that it’s one of the best ways to grow and be better. It doesn’t involve insults but rather sincere comments on both the positive and negative aspects of your work or even you as a person, all in a friendly manner. I think we all should try to pay attention to constructive criticisms because it’ll help us a great deal.

Try to be your Number 1 Fan! I’m usually the first to like all my posts on social media because I’m my greatest Fan. You don’t always have to wait for someone to tell you how beautiful or handsome you are or how good you look. You should be the first to tell that to yourself because your opinion about yourself matters more than anyone else’s and how you carry and present yourself, is how you’re going to be treated; if you see yourself as intelligent, bold, beautiful, handsome, confident, etc., that’s how every other person will see you and if you see yourself as the lazy, dumb and ugly one, that’s what others will see also.

I don’t know about you, but whenever I look at myself at the mirror and tell myself how beautiful, good-looking and brainy I am, my confidence throughout that day will be out of this world! So why not do it daily? If you walk around confidently, you’ll be respected. Go try it if you doubt me.

I’m also going to mention that you should try to put on what you’re comfortable in, it’ll boost your confidence. I’m sure most of us have being in situations where we have felt like hiding in a public place because we don’t like how we look; that’s usually quite funny and very embarrassing. Why not reduce the frequency of that by putting on what makes you happy and comfortable?

I think sometimes you may need a little push. You may forget who you are and what you carry and so that push may be required. That’s why we need positive and like-minded persons around us always. STAY AWAY from bad energy!

Lastly and most importantly, don’t leave God out of the picture. You’re made in His image and likeness; you’re the prince/princess of Heaven so act like it! Knowing that you have the backing of a Supreme Being is the greatest feeling you could ever experience.

So ladies and gentlemen, Don’t Let Them Tell You Who You Are, Tell Them Who You Are!

Please drop your comments below, I’d like to know your opinions on this subject matter. Also remember to follow my blog and share with loved ones to help promote my blog. Thank you for reading!

Into The Niche Of An Elder Sister

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“Anita where’s the peg bag? Anita why’s the sitting room dirty? Anita has everyone eaten? Anita why’s that toilet dirty?” Anita! Anita!! Anita!!! That’s what I keep hearing. Everything Anita.

Hello Master/Miss/Mrs./Mr., welcome back to Anidom! I’m glad you stopped by *xoxo*. Today, as you’ve seen above, I’m writing about Into The Niche Of An Elder Sister.
The first female of a family is usually like a Queen. She has authority together with lots of roles and responsibilities placed on her shoulders. She’s like the second Mother of the home. “Second madam of the house” is exactly what my younger sister calls me. I asked her why and she told me “when mummy is not around, you do all the work, you’re the one who cooks, you tell me to sleep early, you kind of fill in for mum when she’s not around” these were her exact words. I was a little dazed when I heard this because it was in that moment I realized it was true; I had never really thought about it in detail before then.

It sounded nice and made me feel good but my sweet feeling was short-lived because it also made me realize how much I had to do and how seriously my younger ones look up to me. Honestly, it was a crazy feeling.

As elder sisters, we’re required to set the pace for our younger ones; especially our younger sisters. We need to lay the foundation and probably even start building the house. If you’re the first child, it’s even worse. We’re constantly under pressure not to “mess up” and to do everything correctly. Our parents are watching us constantly and so are the other family members. We are not free to do whatever the hell we want to do, we can’t even afford to.

We are pressurized to be “perfect”. Our parents want us to read the best courses, get married to a man of the same tribe and probably even from the same village with us; it’s just crazy but very true. We have to get married and have kids “on time” and do everything they want us to do “on time”.

As elder sisters we are the most scolded, most disgraced and most insulted for every “little” mistake we make. Nobody tries to create space for our excesses, they just want us to be “perfect” at all times.

As elder sisters, we are the ones who suffer the inherent overprotective nature of our parents. They don’t want us going out to do anything even to buy something across the street. They want us indoors always and all day.

Sometimes, it feels like we have monitoring spirits following us everywhere we go. They watch every move we make and suspect we’re doing something “bad” a lot. You know, one day, I went out with my sister (it was a miracle they let us go) and we got home like a few minutes past seven pm. The bolt driver and I had to clarify a few things concerning the payment so my sister and I didn’t highlight immediately. The next thing, I saw my mum literally running towards us, it was really funny honestly. Just when she got to where the vehicle was parked, the driver and I finished up. My sister and I highlighted the vehicle, greeted our mum and our conversation when like this

“What’s the problem?”

“There’s no problem. I was just paying him”

“Is it not your contact info he was asking for?”

“Mum, you’re acting like Dad right now”

It was funny and a little annoying at the same time. I know she was just trying to care for us you know, and I love love her for that but mehn, it was crazy.
We elder sisters are the ones our fathers look for immediately they get back from work. If I don’t go out to welcome my Dad when he gets home, he begins to look for me like I’m missing or something. We get to do most of the chores at home and we’re usually the ones scolded when others don’t do theirs; this can be so annoying.

But you know what, we don’t always get to “suffer” all the time. We are like bosses on our own, Queens!!! We get consulted for the way most things should go around the house, we don’t always have to lift a finger. We can just say “Glory, go get water for me” or “Alex go and buy me superglue” “Peace go clean the toilet” and we can seize our younger ones phones and discipline them too. This actually feels really good.Most times, we get want we want especially from our fathers. They feel we have a lot of sense so they believe we won’t ask for unnecessary things. We are highly respected by everyone in the family. We are mostly independent people and are the ones who tend to look out for others. We are not very used to being pampered so we may have a hard time showing that we want it; but believe you me, WE WANT IT!!! PLENTY OF IT!!!

We are usually not as girly as most other ladies because we have had to be strong when no one else was. I mean, things can be going badly at home and my younger ones could be crying but I won’t join them to. I’d rather hold my tears back, hold them and tell them, everything will be fine.

We have to sacrifice soo much. This may seem small to you, but not having to take that yoghurt or ice cream just to let my younger ones take more without them having to know I want it so badly is a sacrifice to me. Not getting my make over done just to make my sister look fabulous is a sacrifice to me, not watching what I really want to watch sometimes just to make my younger ones happy is a sacrifice, suspending everything I have and want to do in order to attend to their needs is a big sacrifice to me.

I can keep going you know, but all I’m trying to say is that it’s really not easy to be an elder sister. And to all the elder sisters out there, always have it at the back of your mind that you’re awesome beyond any can ever describe you, you are fantastic and amazing. Keep being that best sister that you are, don’t give up. Most of all, don’t be hard on yourself, you’re also a person with feelings even if you have to ignore them most times, try to consider yourself sometimes and be good to yourself.

Please drop your comments below and remember to share with your family and friends. Thank you.

If I were a guy

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If I were a guy,

Firstly, I’d have all the freedom I want,

No restrictions at home,

No chores too.

If I were a guy,

I’d have attended a mixed boarding school,

Gotten my first phone in secondary school,

And I’d be a football player.

If I were a guy,

I’d be soo hot,

I’d wear the most fashionable outfits,

And I’d probably be a player.

If I were a guy,

My hair cut would be either mohawk or punk,

I’d have beards cause I’m quite hairy,

And I’d be soo handsome.

If I were a guy,

My favourite colour would be blue,

I’d be very good at video games,

Cause I already love them.

If I were a guy,

I’d be able to cook, and be so good at it,

I’d love my girlfriend so much,

And I’d make her happy with me.

If I were a guy,

I’d have a sweet tongue,

I’d use lip gloss,

And powder too.

If I were a guy,

I’d smell so nice,

I won’t shave the hair in my axilla,

And I’d be macho.

If I were a guy,

I’d dream big and be successful,

I’d be a good leader,

And a people’s person.

I can keep going..

If I were a guy, if a were a guy, if I were a guy…

This poem above is just to serve as a medium to remind you that you’re not a guy and you’d never be one, well except you decide to do a sex reassignment surgery; I won’t advise this though.

Don’t allow your gender limit you, you weren’t created a lady for you to be limited. Everything you want to do as a guy, you can do them even as a lady. There are NO RESTRICTIONS! You are your only limit, nothing else, no one else.

You want to dream big, dream big!

You want to be successful, be successful!

You want to be fashionable, be fashionable!

You want to lead, lead!

You want to go into politics, do!

You want to get a hair cut, do!

You want to be a football player, Be one!

There are no limits.

The One who made you a lady knew exactly what He was doing when He made you one.

You didn’t come to earth with a tag that reads “You are a lady, and so you have to be below every man and just be a house wife and functional in the other room.” No baby, you didn’t come with that. So it’s time to get up and get to work.

I wish you the best life ahead!

Just for laughs though, ladies send what you think you’d have done differently if you were a guy and for the guys, what you think will be different about you if you were a lady.

I await your response.

Share with friends and fam. Thank you.

Organised or Spontaneous?

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I think they are two kinds of… uhmm… never mind, I don’t know how many kinds of people we have in the world. But I think I can say that some fall under either of these; “The Organised” or “The Spontaneous” in different situations they find themselves.

Me as a case study, falls under both in different areas but I’m more of an “Obsessive Planner”. I always want things to go a particular way and most times I feel scared of doing things I didn’t plan to do.

When there’s an unexpected test, an unforeseen holiday such as this very one we all have been forced to have, I always feel pressurised and scared. I’m among those who love to see things coming so I can plan carefully ahead. Truthfully, I’m an “Over-thinker”, “an Analyser”.

I don’t like to make “mistakes”, not even the “smallest” ones. I’m among those who will not want to resolve an issue immediately because I want to think of the best way possible to do it, without mistakes! We love consistency. We are those that ensure all our “Is” are dotted and out “Ts” crossed. We underline all our headings and ensure the lines are straight, we lay our beds smoothly, take note of details and observe those “little” things people don’t, even if we don’t say it. I can keep going but I think I’m even tired. This may seem weird to some of you, but yes, we exist. They call us perfectionists, oh well, what else do we expect to be called?

But in the course of the 19 years I’ve spent on Earth, I’ve come to learn that being The Organised is not always the best option. It makes certain things amazing yes but it also has a way of “destroying” us and those around us; we set these very high standards for ourselves and for others that it ends up making life difficult for us. We tend to do or not do things only if we have every reason to or not to do them. That is a life that can be critical and judgmental for us and our pals.

I personally started to know all these because I’ve really sat back to analyse many things, and my experiences have taught me a lot, not these alone but also because of certain people I listen to; Joyce Meyer being one of my favourites. I have learnt and I’m still learning a lot from her and her life, that I’ve realised I have to calm down and give people the space to be themselves, to have and express their opinions and to do just what they want to; not what I want them to do. You guys can really try her out, trust me you’ll learn a lot;beyond what you expect.
Being The Organised is who I am and who I’ll always be but with a lot of “software upgrade” as time passes.

I can’t say much about The Spontaneous but I know I admire them. They can explore more and their lives are full of adventures, unlike ours. They live in the moment and that is amazing. I don’t think the life of The Spontaneous is full of diamonds and pearls either, I’m pretty sure they have their struggles too. I don’t want to mention anything because I don’t know for sure. You’ll have to help me out with their strengths and weaknesses in the comment section.

I plan (well, I can’t help it) to do some spontaneous things this year. I have a very cool one in mind, but that’ll be story for another day. I’ll tell you how it went after I’ve done it.
I guess the best thing for us all to do is just to keep upgrading our “softwares” into better versions until we probably get the “perfect” mix of both categories; knowing fully well when to be organised and when to be spontaneous.

Please share your views with me. Tell me what category you fall under and how it has been for you. Don’t forget to share with others. Thank You.

No Regrets

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I usually sit back in my room or may be in the kitchen, in class and even especially in the bathroom to think through and about a whole lot of things. Things of the future and those of the past.

The ones of the past usually hit certain nerves especially those cutaneous ones that carry pain fibres cause as I’ve heard, our brains tend to remember the bad memories than the good ones.

I really used to do the blame game a lot. I used to blame myself for the things that went “wrong” in my life and even those of others sometimes.

I thought about the ‘bad’ things for so long, in anger and guilt most times that it made me realize certain things. I asked myself some questions like “Were you happy when you did this?” “Was that what you really wanted to do?” “Did you feel compelled to do it?” and ultimately, “If you’re faced with this situation again, will you do the same thing?”

The answers I gave myself were answers that pointed to the fact that I had no regrets. Many of the things I’ve done; both “good” and “bad”, are things I’m likely going to repeat if I’m faced with those situations again, so what’s the point regretting?

I believe that life is a process and everything that happens does not happen by chance. There’s something to learn or unlearn when we access or ponder on the things that happen to us and this is how we grow.

So yes, I live my life without regrets and I urge you all to do the same. Please share your views with me by commenting below and share with family and friends. I look forward to knowing what you think about this.