Tag Archives: people pleasing

Walking on Eggshells 🥚🥚(II)

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“I don’t like what you did” or “I am not happy that you did this” were statements I struggled to utter in most of my relationships😑- funnily enough, there were a few relationships I could manage to express how I really felt about things I didn’t like a few times, I think amongst many other reasons, this is a good reason why some of those relationships still stand🤷‍♀️.

“I’d just let it slide”, this was me thinking I was being a Christian, not realising that I was actually bottling up offences simply because I didn’t want to give them any reason to dislike me🙄.

I gave and gave till I lost myself, at some point I didn’t understand why I was doing what I was doing🤦‍♀️- going through so much stress, sacrificing my NEEDS for their WANTS🤨, bleeding myself for them to be comfortable, losing myself in search of their love. I also remember frequently asking some of my friends what they liked and disliked about me- I didn’t realise how often I did that until one of them told me🤷‍♀️, but I ultimately stopped it because the last time I asked someone, her response was more like an attack on my personality🤨, it was too much power and freedom I was giving to people to negatively criticize me. At that point, I knew I was doing myself no good🙅‍♀️. The past two to three years of my life have been characteristic of the above🙃.

It took me a while to realise what was going on, it took another while to tell myself the truth🤥, and I’m still in the process of finding myself and being true to myself as I write🤭. Initiating this process has caused mega changes in how I relate with people and the people I relate with😏.

It got really hard, especially those moments I thought I was making a mistake choosing myself and not them. Phew!🥲 But as I gave it time, I realised more and more why I have to be able to love myself before I can give love to another🥰.

This is my story, one of my stories actually😂, and it’s not even the full story. You know, I have to be discrete😏. I’m still learning and growing, I still feel lost sometimes, but knowing that I am now a way better version of myself than I have been in the past two to three years keeps my hopes high🤩. At the end of it all, I am totally grateful to God🙏🧎‍♀️, because through all this, He has been that Friend that sticks closer than a brother👩🏽‍🤝‍👨🏾.

If you find yourself struggling with a similar situation, you have to realise that you are firstly worthy of your own love before anyone else❤. Realising this truth may drive you to make healthy decisions💯.

Love, Anidom😘.

I’d love to see your comments and thoughts below, let’s have a chitchat😃.

Walking on Eggshells🥚🥚(I)

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I have discovered from personal experience that doing all you can in order not to get anyone offended, also known as walking on eggshells, doesn’t prevent you from offending people, matter of fact, you actually annoy people a lot even without realising😂.

You unconsciously begin to think that you always do the right thing💯 that everyone wants, you become adamant to correction, and closed-minded to any perspective other than yours🥶. This is largely because you believe you’re doing all you can to please🥺 and live up to the standards of everyone around you- how exhausting!😪.

I’m personally not a people person, however, I can be goofy with the people I’m most comfortable with, but I won’t even exhaust the fingers on one of my hands if I were to number them😬😂. I don’t necessarily like being around people that aren’t my friends🥱 and in most public places, my phone and I spend time bonding🤣🤣.

In 2019, there was this lady in my class, jovial🤩, bright, you know, all that good stuff🤪. I admired how she used to relate with people. From my point of view, it was a beautiful life😍- having something to talk about with almost everybody and everyone seeming to like you, it really caught my fancy🥰.

I started trying to be like her- talking to people more often, racking my brain for possible conversation topics🤯, and literally laughing with everyone. This was nice at first, I thought “everyone will like now😏”, it continued for a while until I realised how unhappy I was😔, and how doing all that was ripping me of my amazing personality😁.

I eventually stopped doing that🥰 and thought that was the end of my people-pleasing habit until 2020 when I realised that for someone who comes off as and talks to people about having a healthy self-image and esteem👸, I was far gone in my self-deprecation journey🙆.

…to be continued.

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